Helpdesk challenge – how do YOU get rid of scam callers?
With no end yet in sight for the Microsoft support scam phone calls, it can be more frustrating than ever to hear the phone ring while you’re in the middle of dinner. So if you suspect a scammer, what’s your favourite way of ending the call?
‘Hello, sir, I’m calling from a Microsoft-approved service provider as we suspect your computer has been infected with malware…’
Oh really? And for just £39 a year I can enjoy peace of mind, right after handing over the keys to my laptop and letting the voice on the end of the line remotely access my files? No thanks.
Hanging up on scammers for good
Receiving a call like this can be a nuisance, but there’s a more serious side to these calls as well. Which? Computing has heard from members who’ve been conned out of as much as £2,400 after giving over their bank details.
Hearing someone tell me they know my computer is affected with problems would raise my suspicions immediately, and anyone calling to say as much would get short shrift from me. But what are the most effective ways of ending a scam phone call?
Which? Computing reader Dave Summers got in touch with some of his suggestions:
I have two replies that never fail me
1) “I am an IT consultant” (which I am not)
2) “Sorry, but I don’t have a computer”
I think Dave has some great suggestions there, but what are your favourite ways to end a nuisance call? We’re working to see the entire practice put to bed for good, but in the meantime, share your tips on slamming the phone on the scammers.
- Learn who to contact about fraud – the details of who to get in touch with
- Technical support scams continue – we update you on the latest tricks
- Which? reviews free antivirus software – peace of mind without paying a penny
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Hal Davis
I deal with unsolicited junk calls in two ways:
1) I stay silent till they stop talking, and then say ‘Do please carry on – I’m doing research on callers like you for Which magazine, and I’m recording everything you’re saying’.
2) I interrupt them with ‘I’m glad you phoned; I’d like to sell you my car, so please give me your email address for me to forward you the details right away’. That tends to put them off pretty quickly.
Or alternatively, you put the phone down away from your ear, make yourself a cup of coffee and read your newspaper until the caller gets tired and goes away. And if you feel especially kind, you can rest your handset next to the radio, and play the caller some music – the louder the better.
Such phone callers are easy to spot within microseconds, and when they ask for me by name I’ve sometimes already decided to tell them that it’s my brother they want, and he’s currently incommunicado in the Amazonian rain forest. I don’t know if they believe me, but it seems to be effective.
Alastair
When I receive such a call, the first question I ask them is ‘which of my computers is it that has the problem?’. That usually puzzles them so I try to be helpful, and say ‘if you can tell me the IP address of the problem computer, I will know which one it is’. They usually try and talk round that, so I finish by saying ‘If your equipment cannot tell me what the IP address of the problem computer is, then I have no confidence in your solution either. Good-bye’. It works for at least an hour, but I have to confess to having had up to three of these calls in a day.
Steve GS
If I’m not busy, I string them along by clacking at the keyboard when prompted and asking them what the weather’s like where they are, etc. Then, finally I tell them I have an Atari ST. If I’m busy and they ask to speak to me by name I either say ‘Mr. GS does not accept call from India’, or ‘I’ll get him’ and leave the phone off the hook. I have caller display, but that’s not much use if you’re not within sight of the display. A phone that rings differently for international and withheld numbers would be really helpful – it should be easy to implement but I’ve never come across one.
Tony Edwards
Suggestions for playing with unwanted callers are fine if you happen to be in a gamesome mood. If you are not up for a bit of righteous amusement you might just as well put the phone down. Accompanying expletives are optional but will also depend upon your level of irritation and inclination towards self-control.
Mary Phipps
I have tried various methods listed above. but I insisted I had a degree in I.T. and told them when they knew as much as me to come back. one ” indian” man insisted on asking me what degree I held. he didnt like the reply and I haven.t (fingers crossed) had anymore calls.
Benny
If you get a call from someone purporting to be from Microsoft, tell them that you use the Linux operating system. Better still, start using Linux – you’ll find that it sidesteps other Microsoft issues as well.
Joe Lavery
I am on the Which? Computing Helpline trial at the moment, the amount of calls we are receiving from un-suspecting customers who indeed fall for it and allow access is a huge worry for me! Credit where due, you have to admit that the people carrying out these scams are very good at what they do – the main worry! None the less, I do very much enjoy playing the ‘long call game’ with these scammers!
As some have said, there are little joys in seeing how long we can keep them on the phone. I like the gullible approach and giving the impression of completing their requests – then getting worried that I’ve done it wrong… Ending by letting them know I am completely aware of their true nature!
Let’s make the predator the prey and see if we can educate our friends and family to the presence of these parasites and try to deter them from even bothering!!!
I am however very glad to see how many of you are wise to these ‘artists’.
Keep it up!
All the best,
Joe.
Eileen
Depending on my mood : :)
1. “Just a moment I’ll put her on”. On comes doddery ancient lady who cannot hear very well and misunderstands everything said. “It’s Microsoft – you have a fault with your computer” “Aye Lad I haven’t had a suitor for years. Am I too old now at 86? Are you a one of those new fangled dating agencies?” They haven’t rung again.
2. Go along with call such as “Hello we can make you debt free”. “Oh yes please I need your help” “Let me tell you about our service” “No need I just want you to do it. Mrs Jones still owes me for the bread I fetched. Annie next door hasn’t paid me for her paper bill – I’ll let her off the eggs she borrowed” Interupted by “Let me explain” “No need just do it for me I’m ever so grateful and then there’s a few amounts owing from her down the road but she never answers her door and ……………” Why did they ring off?
3. Confuse them. Tell them you will fetch the caller but ask if they are fluent in sign language.
4. A 99p whistle is working well too. Just little pips everytime they try to speak then ask them what is wrong with their line.
TPS is useless and I reckon by wasting callers time and money unsolicited callers will eventually cross you off the list.
Mike
I had one of these this morning,
Kept him on the line for 27 minutes but in the end told him i was a penetration tester and go find some other idiot to steal from.
They then proceeded to call me an idiot and got abusive, they said if i didnt want tto receive calls anymore i didnt have to. He said he can come direct to my door.. because i was a time waster.. started to get a little threatening so i said, thank you for your time but i shall not be doing anything you ask. Also said that if he was from microsoft he would not be shouting abuse down the phone.
this isnt a good thing as lots of people will feel very pressured.
Jess
I play this down the phone: http://youtu.be/H0MwvOJEBOM
(Turn your volume down);)
Doubled
If I don’t recognise the number on caller id I answer the phone in a foreign language and continue repeating the same few words. Usually I can hear the caller say something like ‘it’s a foreigner’ and they promptly hang up. If they persist, I hang up.
Glyn
WW2 soldiers from Wales serving in Europe did not need to use codes to communicate with each other. They simply spoke in the ‘language of heaven’ i.e. Welsh. Very few callers carry on when I answer them in Welsh.
Pixie Dust
I’ve been unfailingly polite for years to everyone who rings and today my patience snapped. Once ‘Sam’ for it was he, told me he worked for Windows I said, ‘Sam, Sam, Sam. We both know this is a scam,’ and then suggested the gentleman go forth and multiply (fairly succinctly) and followed that with ‘and die’. It feel fairly cathartic, I have to say.
Simon
When I receive a call from these charlatans – which is at least twice a week – I find an effective technique is screaming down the phone as if they’ve just called me as I’m being brutally murdered. Don’t go for an angry kind of scream, try for “out of your skull with sheer terror”. Generally, they either scream in return and hang up, or they ask in a panicked voice if I’m OK, at which point I groan “Help me” and I hang up. With any luck the person on the other end will have a nervous breakdown and quit their job.
David Thornley
I’m worried that I’ve never received a call from a Microsoft scammer. I did once receive a PPI call. I feel very insignificant not to be wanted by all these scammers – what have I done to deserve this treatment? I was also offered a loan at 6.9 per cent and pretended to understand that he was offering to pay that interest on money I was going to lend him: very interesting conversation!
Martinerasmus
I had some time to kill, so I asked the ‘Microsoft engineer’ the actual location and address of his office where he was sitting. This was in west London, according to him.
Whilst we spoke I found it on Google’s Streetview, and then began asking him to describe the street’s shops, businesses, landmarks, etc, he would have to pass to get to his ‘office’.
The more and more flustered he became, the more I was entertained.
firefly1
I do not answer the phone if the number is not recognised (i.e. international, unavailable, withheld) + my phone has a different ring for unknown numbers. The answering machine is on so that a message can be left, if the call is important. These measures weed out most nuisance calls without me being rude or getting hot round the collar.
Gonzo
Do a Google search on “Tom Mabe telemarket”.
You will find a link to You Tube, where you can listen to how Tom Mabe deals with a telemarketing caller. Basically, he cons the caller into believing he is a murder suspect.
It’s very funny. If you have the time and the patience, you could try the same approach as Tom.
charles ellis
i never say a word,but instead let the children’s bike horn that i bought especially for this purpose from poundland do the talking with random squeezes — great fun.
Peter Mann
My father (now deceased) had a brilliant way of dealing with these calls. As soon as he knew it was a cold caller. He would immediately launch into a “I am so glad you rang to enquire about the lawn mower I am advertising” He would then blast them with technical details, age, description, history of this lawn mower never giving the caller a chance to get a word in. Eventually the callers would give up and ring off. Dad had a lot of good sport doing this. One day he got a call from the manager of a call centre thanking him for keeping his staff amused and tied up for so long a period over this wretched lawn mower. Well done Dad.
Ian
My suggestions are: Try to get the company name and address, or tell them you are busy and ask them for their phone number so you can ring them back. Pass on any information given to the police.
Alter settings on all computers in house in Control Panel, System, Remote Settings and uncheck the “Allow Remote Assistance connections” – not infallible but another barrier if you or others in your house might be gullible.
And my favourite, make a very, very loud noise down the phone – I have a friend who has played a very loud and high note on his flute into the ears of some. Remember they are probably wearing a headset.
toniem
I have started to interrupt the callers introduction and ask if they are aware of the U.K. telephone preference service. It is surprising the number of callers who become annoyed and quite abusive, then quickly terminate the call.This seems to be one of the quicker means of reducing the call duration while still retaining some entertainment value. I have had one female caller whose reply was “yes”, followed by an apology and a promise to remove my number from their database. I suspect that is an extremely rare occurrence.
Leonardo
Mostly my calls are recordings, telling me about a fictional refund they say I’m due. They know my name (from the phone book) but they say nothing about who they are, who owes me money, nor how much. So simple – say nothing (they aren’t listening anyway – all they want is for me to phone a number and tell them useful information) – and ring off. 1471 tells me they “do not have their number”.
Mike Elliott
Today I saw “withheld” in my phone display, so I gave the caller no chance to say anything. I imitated the tone of a recording, and said “Hello, you’ve reached the number of R*** and M***. If you are selling something, please hang up now. Otherwise, please leave a message after the….” The caller hung up before I had to imitate a “Beep”, so that worked.
Peter M
Probably not very original but my reply to the Indian-accented caller was:
“Ranjit Singh, is that you ???? I don’t believe it, I remember you from Mrs. Patel’s chapati bar. How the bloody hell are you ? My gosh, it’s been so long.”
Please forgive the expletive, it was necessary for colour and works beautifully in the appropriate accent.
I also sometimes reply that I also work for Microsoft, and ask which department they are as I might know “some of the guys over there”.